Anxious but Functional

Thursday. Last day of the week. Last day before Good Friday. Seems like a good time to talk about anxiety.

To me, it feels like being trapped. Constantly. Like you're fighting with yourself just to function. We all feel it in different ways. But it boils down to something simple:

Anxiety is our constant internal struggle. Our brain fighting itself.

That's what overthinking is too. You overthink everything—until it becomes anxiety. Your thoughts race. You feel pressured by reality to say something. Or to act. Anxiety’s in the body. It's in the mind. It's in the fucking soul.

And all that shit they say works?

Annoyingly? It actually works.

Breathing. Stretching. Writing. Dancing. Walking. Running. Gym. Chamomile. Fighting with yourself to focus. Coffee. Tea. Cigarettes.

Everything works.

You just have to find your version of the thing.

People have different ideas about what anxiety is. They think it's being shy. They think it's restless leg syndrome. They think it's biting your nails. Tapping your foot. Getting angry with yourself.

Well, it's all of those—and more. That's just the body trying to expel the anxiety gnawing at our consciousness. That’s what we see.

It's also in what we hear. Stammering. Yelling. Whispering. Sighing. Inhaling. Exhaling.

That's just anxiety leaving.

And maybe the funniest part?

I don't even know how to continue this post.

That's what anxiety does. It convinces you that if you don't say it right, it's better not to say it at all.

That's why this shit is so sneaky.

Because I'm literally anxious about writing the post about anxiety.

You see the loop?

Welcome to my brain.

So I keep typing.

I keep breathing.

And admit I don’t have a clean ending for this.

But maybe that’s the point.

Anxiety doesn’t have a clean ending either.

Talk soon – matt

anxious but functional