FEAR.

What’s up my dudes?

It’s the weekend and Matt feels like writing a little extra this fine morning. Let’s skip the overthinking for once and dive right into some music talk. Classic Brincat, right?

People who know me already get it – I’m obsessed with music. I don’t particularly care what it is, it’s all about set and setting. Depends on the mood. Ever-changing.

Today though, I thought I’d start with FEAR. by Kendrick Lamar. Real classic, really popular, and really insightful. I’m in!

I think the lyric in that song that sticks with me the most is this line:

“I’ll prolly die anonymous, I’ll prolly die with promises.”

This lyric always hits harder than any of them; some fit my thought process perfectly, others are irrelevant. But this one, man. This one hits too close to home to be ignored. Kendrick is casually and effortlessly laying out my deepest darkest fear like it’s no big deal. What an artist.

We’re all going to die eventually (surprise surprise), but what scares me the most about that is the thought of leaving unfinished business behind.

Promises made to myself. Promises whispered to the people around me. Plans quietly scribbled on a notebook at 3am. Plans made when drunk... the plans we make when we’re excited for the world.

Dying anonymous isn’t even the worst part really, it’s knowing that life will continue without you. That there will be things you miss—important things, fun, sadness, love, excitement, knowledge. All missed opportunities. Like all of you, I too don’t like leaving business unfinished. It’s part of who we are as human beings; we like to finish things.

But maybe that’s exactly why this song resonates so hard. Kendrick isn’t just naming my fear – he’s calling it out, making me face it, asking me, “Yeah, you’re gonna die someday. What are you gonna do about it?”

And this blog post is part of my response to him.

I’m not afraid of dying. I’m afraid of dying because of external forces that remind me how fragile and human I really am. Some people listen to this song and think, well, this is just gangsta shit being gangsta shit. Nah man, this is poetry. The same poetry that sometimes gets ignored.

What truly scares me is dying without keeping all those promises I made – to myself, but most importantly to the people around me. The people I love so dearly. The people that stick by me through thick and thin. At my lowest points and my highest points they’re always there. Always available. What a lucky man I am. (Listen to Lucky Man by Emerson Lake & Palmer)

And this is my biggest promise to people:

Live life with the people you love the most.

Because isolation can break you. Isolation slowly wears you down quietly, until one day you wake up realizing how disconnected you’ve become. I’d say that’s pretty topical right now, isn’t it?

But here’s the thing (Listen to Here’s the Thing by Fontaines D.C.): I’m already fighting back. Talking openly, staying connected, writing things down. Making sure isolation doesn’t win again.

Life is meant to be shared. Keep your promises, or don’t. But love your people. Especially when you can see through their actions that they love you back.

Because yeah, fear is real. But so is love. And call me old-fashioned but I reckon love is stronger.

Thanks Kendrick, and thank you for reading.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have 8kg of pork shoulder I need to smoke. And a bunch of hungry friends who deserve a good meal. They’ve worried about me for so long, it’s only fair I feed them.

We’ll get into BBQ later because if I start yapping I will not shut up.

Love you all

Bone apple tea x

FEAR.

Emerson, Lake & Palmer - Lucky Man

Fontaines D.C. - Here's The Thing